Weren't His Missing Rib

In the name of Allah, most gracious and most merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, praise and blessings be upon His messenger.

Tried to sleep but I couldn't. My eyes were wide open as I kept thinking of him, starring at those images of him in front of me. I thought, the action of listening to our 'compilation album' which contain all of the love songs he ever dedicated to me, will made me recall the sweet memories we had been through together but end up with dripping eyes.

Even while am typing out this entry, the tears come flowing out of me non-stop-ly. It's getting worst as if I've heard the Lelaki Ini by Anuar Zain, one of the lullabies songs supposed to be that he ever sang for me. Am crying out loud but with my palms over and somehow I bite my double cloth blanket hard so that I won't wake my roomate up.

I still remember, how funny he was when he's talking with my friends and ask them, 'Mana sayang saya?' when he wanted to speak with me. How funny he's pronouncing those Arab character while he's reciting Al-Fatihah, how funny he was asking me what cloths to wear during his class and how funny he was asking me on how many scoops needed to cook a rice. I missed those things very much!

Put his white t-shirt on since yesterday, hoping that the smell of him could vanished out my gallons of missing towards him. I wish I could cuddled the Mr Bean's teddy that he gave me before so that I feel recharged and wake up with tough and strong spirit again on the next day.

Normally I used to write a love letter for him each year for a special day like this but I refused to do it today. I feel a bit miserable as amma on the month, which I couldn't do any for him. What I can do is, asking the Boss help to pray for him in front of Kaabah. Alhamdulillah...

Oh Allah, forgive me for kept remembering him. It's not like I couldn't accept the fact that you're taking him with you but I really love this man and how I just hope that you could send him in my dreams once saying that he's okay at least. And how I really appreciate those seconds you've lend him for me even for a while as I know you knew better above all. Tough he weren't mine, but he's my first love and normally first love would remain.

I wonder, if I weren't his missing rib then, who's rib I've been created into? Al-Fatihah~